I’ve been in schools when the coffee cart comes around. I’ve watched teachers laugh over a quick staff game, celebrate winning a prize, and enjoy a few minutes together. You can see the joy on their faces. Those moments feel good, and I understand why leaders make time for them.

I’ve also talked with teachers five minutes later and heard how overwhelmed, frustrated, or unsupported they still feel.

The laughter was real. So were the challenges waiting when they returned to their classrooms.

By this time of year, there’s plenty waiting. Instruction, behavior, conferences, and reporting deadlines fill the school day. Holiday responsibilities are starting to fill the hours outside it.

As a leader, you want your staff to know you appreciate everything they’re giving. You also want to build a school where that feeling carries into the rest of their day and gives them a reason to picture their future there. That starts with connecting your gratitude to ongoing support.

Only 35% 

When I read Gallup’s report, The Mattering Gap Among K-12 Educators, one number stopped me.

Only 35% of educators said they mattered a great deal at their school.

Thirty-five percent.

The study surveyed 1,952 U.S. K–12 educators, including teachers, paraprofessionals, teaching assistants, substitutes, and other classroom-based staff.

That means nearly two-thirds of the educators surveyed did not choose “a great deal” when asked how much they felt they mattered at their school.

For me, that raises an important question for leaders: What does it actually look like for someone to know they matter here? 

The report also found something important for leaders: appreciation had the strongest relationship with feeling that you matter. Feeling invested in—supported in your growth and able to see a future at your school—had the strongest independent relationship with intentions to leave.

Appreciation helps someone feel seen. Investment helps them see a future.

For me, the leadership question is clear: Does your staff experience your gratitude in the way you support them?

The first step is surprisingly simple. You can begin with a conversation.

Notice the work. Name the difference.

Think about a teacher working through a recurring behavior challenge. You notice that when a student pushes back, the teacher stays calm, holds the expectation, and helps the student rejoin the class.

Later, privately, you might say, “I noticed that when he pushed back, you kept your voice steady and gave him a way to rejoin the group. You kept the expectation clear and protected your relationship with him. I wanted you to know I saw that.”

Then let the teacher receive it. There doesn’t need to be a suggestion tucked into the conversation or a request to share their approach at the next faculty meeting. You’re recognizing the thought and skill they brought to their work.

You can do this throughout your school. Notice the paraprofessional helping a student become more independent. The office colleague making a family feel welcome during a difficult conversation. The teacher sharing materials that save teammates time.

Name what you saw and the difference it made. You’re showing someone that you see the work behind the work—the patience, preparation, and decisions that can easily go unnoticed.

Keep showing up

One sincere conversation is a beginning. Your continued attention helps staff learn they can count on it.

Check back with that teacher. Stay curious. “You’ve been putting a lot of thought into helping him participate. How is that feeling from your side?” They may share progress, frustration, or something they’re still figuring out. They may say everything is fine.

Give them room for any of those responses. A teacher who is used to handling everything alone may need time before accepting support and feeling comfortable.

When they share a challenge, you can ask, “What could I take care of on my end that would help you keep building on what you’re doing?” That question respects their progress and gives you a role in supporting it.

If you agree to do something, follow through. If it takes longer than expected, let them know. If the request isn’t possible, return to the conversation and work through what you can offer.

Staff learn what support means in your school through what happens after the conversation.

Let what you learn guide your investment

Appreciation says: I see what you’re doing. 

Investment asks: How can I help you keep growing here? 

As you listen, you’ll discover opportunities to invest in your staff.

Several teachers may be interested in an approach they’ve seen a colleague use successfully. You could offer professional learning for those who want to explore it, along with time to practice and talk about what they’re learning.

Someone may mention a skill they want to develop. You could help them find a useful opportunity and make space for them to try it.

You might invite a teacher to share something that’s working: “I’ve noticed how your morning routine helps students get settled and started. Would you enjoy sharing what’s working with a few interested colleagues? We could plan time for you to prepare.”

Keep that invitation optional. Being recognized for good work shouldn’t automatically mean receiving more work.

The investment becomes meaningful when it reflects the person’s interests, goals, and needs and includes support to make it useful.

Build a pattern your staff can count on

The coffee cart can still come around. Keep the laughter and the opportunities to enjoy being together. 

Just don’t ask those moments to carry the full weight of making people feel valued. What happens during the rest of the week matters more.

You notice someone’s effort. You listen to their perspective. You act on something they shared. You return to see how it went.

Over time, those moments become a pattern.

Through those experiences, your staff learns what they can expect from you:

• Their work gets noticed.
  
  
• Their judgment receives respect.
  
  
• Their interests help shape opportunities.
  
  
• When they share a need, you respond.
  
  

Your staff doesn’t just hear that they’re appreciated. They experience what appreciation looks like in your school.

Specific appreciation is the opening. Investment develops as you listen, act on what you learn, and follow through.

The starting point is simple. Making it a pattern takes continued attention. That pattern is part of how you build the school you want to lead: a place where people feel supported, keep growing, and can see a future together.

Start with one private conversation. 

Notice the work. Name the difference. Keep showing up. Turn your next step into a schoolwide reset.

Source: Gallup. The Mattering Gap Among K–12 Educators (2026). 

Turn your next step into a schoolwide reset

One conversation can change someone’s day. A consistent pattern of support can begin to change what staff experience across a school.

If you’re ready to build that kind of consistency beyond individual conversations, the 60-Day School Culture Reset can help. 

You choose the priorities for your school. We help you put them into practice.

Book a conversation about the 60-Day School Culture Reset →

Written by Sarah Fillion 2026